Can't Just Be His Friend Read online

  “Wow. I’m beautiful?” he said, then laughed. “Not really an adjective used to describe a man…you mean that, or are you joking?”

  “Of course I mean it. You are a nice-looking guy and you know it.”

  Jonathan brought over the bottle of champagne and two glasses. Then he made a quick getaway from the table. It was starting to get crowded and nosier in the restaurant and I’m sure he had other tables to wait on.

  I watched Reggie pour our glasses full of champagne. I took a sip, then he took a sip and asked, “So why haven’t you been trying to get at me?”

  I hurried up and set the glass down before I spilled it all over myself. I thought we were past this topic but Reggie resurrected it. He was making me nervous with his pointed conversation.

  To buy some time to come up with an answer for him, I played dumb and asked, “What are you talking about?”

  “I mean, you said you thought I was flyy and everything so why haven’t you been trying to get at ya boy?”

  I chuckled a bit and said, “I didn’t say you were flyy…I said you look nice.”

  “Tiff, you just said I was beautiful. In my book, that means I’m flyy.”

  “Well, you need to revise your book.” I chuckled, knowing Reggie was far more than flyy. He was off the chain.

  “Anyway, that’s neither her nor there. Just answer my question.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to know, that’s why.”

  “I don’t even know why we’re having this discussion?” I laughed it off. “You have a girlfriend, remember?” I turned the glass up and finished my champagne in one huge gulp. Reggie was making me incredibly uncomfortable. I wasn’t ready to have this discussion with him. Okay, I was ready, but he caught me off guard and I didn’t want to say the wrong things to him. I refilled my champagne glass to the brim.

  Reggie grinned out of the blue, I assumed he was chuckling at me.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I didn’t know I had the power to make you nervous after all these years we’ve known each other.”

  “Okay, so stop.”

  “Ah’ight. I’ll leave you alone,” Reggie said, squinting in a playful manner.

  To take my attention away from him for a moment, I glanced out the window again. It was getting dark out and I wondered about Shontay again. Here I sit having dinner with her man, while she was probably hating the fact that I was with him. Or did she know?

  “Hey Reg, did you tell Shontay you were spending the weekend with me?”

  “Yeah, I told her. She wasn’t too happy about it though.”

  “Why not?”

  Reggie grinned then said, “For some reason, she thinks you’re in love with me.”

  “Really?” I said throaty, feeling awkward but trying not to let Reggie see how my nerves had shifted. All the while I’m knowing Shontay’s conclusion is true. I am in love with Reggie and as I think about this, I’m also wondering why he grinned before he made the comment. Did he truly not believe I could be in love with him, or was he laughing to soften what he was about to say? Or did he believe Shontay, but wanted to get my reaction before a possible confession?

  “Tiff, you don’t like Shontay, do you?”

  “She’s all right.” I tried to be as honest as possible without being too brutal.

  “That’s it? Just all right?”

  “Yeah. What more do you want me to say?”

  “Tell me the reason why you think she’s not right for me.”

  “Whoa, Reggie…see now, you’re putting words in my mouth. I didn’t say she wasn’t right for you.”

  “You don’t have to say it. I can sense it. So tell me why.”

  “Well, ah…she just…ah…she acts a little ghetto.”

  Reggie laughed, didn’t seem bothered by my comment about his girl at all so I continued, “And in the words of Kanye West, ain’t saying she a gold digger—”

  Reggie started cracking up. So was I.

  “Let me stop. I’m sure deep down, she’s a nice person. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be with her, right?”

  Jonathan brought over our entrees before Reggie could answer me. “Is there anything else I can get you right away?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Could you bring some garlic bread?” I asked him.

  “Sure. What about you, Sir?” He looked at Reggie.

  “Ah, no. I’m good. Just bring the garlic bread for my wife and we’ll be straight. Thanks.”

  I almost choked on my drink. Reggie was wrong for that. Then he had the nerve to shoot an evil smile my way after he’d made the comment.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  Reggie and I both laughed out loud when Jonathan walked away.

  “Reggie, why you say that? Now you got the guy all scared.”

  “Well maybe now he’ll stop undressing you with his eyes.”

  “He wasn’t even looking at me like that.”

  “Yes he was, but I bet he won’t do it again. If he does, I’ma hit him.”

  I finished two glasses of champagne in record time. That’s probably the reason why I couldn’t finish my steak. Reggie finished it for me. He ate his entire meal and then finished the rest of mine. Afterwards, he turned up the bottle of champagne to his mouth and finished the last of it.

  After dinner, we headed down to the beach. It was approaching nine. The beach was still poppin’ near 39th Street. Actually, all along the boardwalk there was some action. Reggie and I held hands (can you say nerve racking?) and walked on the beach like we were a couple in love. The warm sand was wet from the rain earlier in the day. It felt good on my bare feet and I made sure to get my toes all in it. It was muggy outside with the temperature just above the eighty degree mark, same as my dream.

  It was dark out, too – just the way I liked it and I could hear the roars of the waves talking to me, touching me, gripping my hand like I belonged to it. And there was a noticeable warm breeze – the kind of breeze that made you appreciate summer nights in Virginia Beach. Me and Reggie stood hand in hand, staring into the ocean.

  “This is beautiful. I always loved living in this city,” Reggie said, letting go of my hand and sitting on the damp sand just before the shoreline.

  I remained standing with my back to the ocean, my thoughts on Reggie. I watched him sitting while water rushed to my ankles, then receded again.

  “You know what, Tiff? I’m going to buy a house on the beach one day. You see how calm and relaxing this is. I could live like this forever.”

  Oh I know how relaxing it is. Being out here on the beach is just as relaxing to me as spending time alone with Reggie. It’s like therapy for me to be with someone who loves me unconditionally. The feeling of having both ecstasies simultaneously was immeasurable.

  “Tiffany, you hear me?”

  “Yeah. I heard you Reggie.”

  “No you didn’t. You look like you’re in a daze. C’mere.”

  I walked over to Reggie, straddled him, staring into his eyes while I wrapped my legs around his back. I remembered us spending time out here when we were younger – burying each other in the sand, building sandcastles, making sand angels, racing, wrestling – we did everything. As we got older, our beach activities went to playing volleyball and Frisbee. Reggie would swim sometimes, and once he taught me how to swim (finally at age seventeen), I would go along with him.

  “I said I’m gonna buy a house on the beach one day,” he repeated.

  “I know. I told you I heard you.”

  “Oh…okay. I didn’t know if you heard me or not. You were just staring at me. I know I look good and all but dang.”

  “Whatever Reggie. Stop being so conceited.”

  “I’m not conceited. You’re the one who said I looked good.”

  “You do look good. But you know what I really like about you?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I like that you always stood by my side, no matter what.”

  “Look at you trying to g
et all sentimental on a brother.”

  “No. I’m just keepin’ it real.”

  I sat there staring in Reggie’s eyes for a moment, but the strong look he gave me sent my eyes away. Then I quickly changed the subject.

  “Hey Reggie, do you remember when we used to bury each other up to the neck in this sand?”

  “Yep. You remember that time I buried you and then French kissed you. I think we were about twelve years old…”

  “Yeah and I started crying—”

  “—then you told your Mom on me.”

  We laughed together.

  “Yeah. I remember and that wasn’t a French kiss. It was more like a slow, slobbery lip lock.”

  “Oh, it’s like that?”

  We laughed in unison again while I hugged him tight and rested my head on his shoulder.

  “Ya boy done came a long ways in the kissing game since adolescence.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yeah that’s right. I wonder if you’d cry if I kissed you now,” Reggie said before softly grabbing my face, plowing his mouth into mine hard, taking handfuls of my hair captive. Then he let me go quickly.

  He was playing around, but I was very into this kiss. I was fully aware of my emotions and with that one, quick kiss, I felt so many feelings for my best friend. His kiss had me thinking about how much our friendship meant to me and how far we’ve come to this point in our relationship. We’d graduated from college together.

  “Is that a tear I see?” Reggie teased me after he pulled away. He didn’t know I was really crying until the tears ran down my face out of both eyes.

  “Why you crying, baby? My kisses still disgust you, huh?”

  Reggie had me both laughing and crying at the same time. “No.”

  “So why tears?”

  “This just brings back so many memories.” I hugged Reggie tight and laid my head on his shoulder again. “Reggie, our friendship means the world to me.” I squeezed him harder, hoping my affection would enhance the words I spoke to him.

  “I feel the same way, Tiffany.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “Just don’t go telling your Mom I slobbered you again.”

  Beaming brighter than the moon, I said, “I won’t.”

  We held each other for another thirty minutes sitting out there on the beach and then we went back to our hotel room and fell asleep. Our time alone was precious to me. I loved Reggie with all of my heart. I’m sure he would tell you the same thing about me.

  Chapter 4

  We checked out of the hotel Sunday morning and though the weekend was relaxing, I was exhausted. So as soon as I got to my apartment, I went to sleep again. Then I woke up around two in the afternoon to see that Reggie had called. So did my Mom. I called them both back, but didn’t get an answer from either of them. So I laid there in my bed watching reruns of Keyshia Cole, The Way It Is, finding it amusing how often the phrase “at the end of the day” occurred in any given episode.

  It was relaxing to chill at the crib and do absolutely nothing. I wanted to be well rested for work in the morning. I managed a local accounting firm, while Reggie was Director of Investor Relations at an investment company in Portsmouth. We were both fortunate to have landed such amazing jobs only a few months earlier.

  I ordered some Chinese and after I ate all I could, I climbed back into bed and fell asleep again. I woke up about eight when I heard my phone ringing.

  “Hello.”

  “What up, Tiff?”

  “What’s up with you, boy?”

  “It’s been a day. Believe it or not, I went to work.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. You mind if I swing by for a minute?”

  “Not at all. Come on thru.”

  “Ah’ight. I’ll be there in five.”

  “Okay.”

  I got out of bed to open the door for Reggie a few minutes later and when I did, he was standing there in a black suit, with a light grey shirt and a smoke gray tie, looking handsome.

  I took him by the hand. “Aww…poor baby. You look so tired. Come on in and sit down.”

  Reggie took off his suit jacket and neck tie, then undid the top button on his shirt.

  “So what’s going on?” I asked him. “You look drained, and why are you working on a Sunday?”

  “I’ve been heading up this big project at work and now we’re in the final stages. Its crunch time, baby, and I gotta knock this out of the park. I can’t wait until it’s over, though.” He blew a stressful breath. “Then Shontay has been blowing up my phone like I’m about to leave the country or something.”

  “When was the last time you guys went out?”

  “About three weeks ago.”

  “Well dang. If I were her, I would be blowing your phone up too! What’s up with y’all anyway? I thought you really liked her.”

  “I do but we’ve been together for about two years now and I just don’t love her the way I think I should.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t even know,” Reggie sighed. “I’m tired out of my mind and hungry.”

  “I have some leftover Chinese if you want it. Let me heat it up for you.”

  I jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen. Before I could get back in the living room with his food, he had already come up out of his shirt. I handed him the plate, then sat on the couch again and watched him eat. I wanted to get back on the subject of Shontay quickly.

  “Mmm. This is good,” he said smacking. “I ain’t had nothing to eat since lunch.”

  “You need to take better care of yourself, Reg. Don’t let those people work you to death.”

  “I know, I know. It’ll be better once this project is over.”

  “Okay….and what’s going on with you and Shontay again?” I had to get the scoop. If he wanted her out of the picture, that meant a better shot for me to get at him.

  “Oh…ah…I mean, I like Shontay and all,” Reggie said with a mouthful of noodles. “It’s like this – I love her but I’m not in love with her.”

  “Oh, so you like her the same way you like me.”

  He hesitated to answer for a minute. He stopped eating, looked at me and said, “Nah. See me and you, we have something special.” He smiled. “I’ma love you until the day I die.”

  I smiled from ear-to-ear. Reggie had strong feelings for me, but he never tried to take our relationship any further.

  “Okaaaay, so getting back to Shontay…”

  “Oh yeah…like I said, I’m not in love with her. She’s not a woman I can commit to. I can’t see myself marrying her or having kids with her.”

  “Did you tell her?”

  “No. How do you tell a woman something like that?”

  “I don’t know. Just let it burn…like Usher said.”

  Reggie grinned. “You really think I should tell her?”

  “Well, you shouldn’t be leading her on like y’all are going to be together when you know in your heart you don’t love her enough to take the relationship to the next level.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll talk to her but I ain’t gonna have time this week to deal with a lot of drama. I need to concentrate on the project.”

  I yawned and stretched my arms up in the air. “Well, I had a rather stressful day myself. Thanks for asking.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry baby.”

  I promise every time Reggie called me baby it sent chills up my spine. He had no idea what he did to me.

  “What happened today that’s got you so tired?”

  “Nothing. I’m only teasing you. I’ve been recovering from our little weekend excursion. Actually, I think I’m gonna go to bed Reg. I’m beat.”

  “Do you care if I crash here tonight?”

  “You can stay if you want.”

  “Cool. Do I still have some clothes over here?”

  “Your tan suit is hanging in my closet with a blue shirt and that necktie I bought you.”

  “Good
. Then that’s what I’ll wear to work tomorrow.”

  “Ah’ight, goodnight then.”

  “Ay, wait a minute. Come give me some love before you lay your head, girl.”

  I walked over to him as he swallowed the last bit of food in his mouth.

  He stood up, wrapped his arms around me, burying my face in his chest and squeezing me tight like he did on our graduation day. “Goodnight, Tiff.”

  “Goodnight, Reggie.”

  I went on to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I couldn’t sleep unless my room was dark and since Reggie had on the TV in the living room, I didn’t want the interruption of the noise or the light.

  Not long after my head hit the pillow, I heard soft knocks on the door. Reggie walked in and slid under the covers with me. I could feel him breathing on my neck and his arm rested beneath my breasts.

  “Stop trying to front like you sleep. You just came in here.”

  Man, he sounded sexy when he was tired. His voice alone was enough to make me want him.

  “I’m not frontin’. I’m just resting.”

  “Don’t go to sleep yet. I want to talk to you for a minute.”

  “About what?” I tried my hardest to fake like I was too tired to be engaged in conversation, but I was enjoying every second of him being there with me.

  “About you,” he said, kissing the back of my neck with his moist lips, then moving his hand to my shoulder, tracing my curves with his index finger.

  “What about me?”

  “Do you ever stop to think about us and our life together?” he asked, and kept kissing my neck, moving to my back now.

  “We ah…” I said, trying to focus but couldn’t with him kissing my back. “We just did the whole…um…reminiscing thing, so yes.”

  “No, not like that. I mean, when you’re alone. Do you think about us?” He stopped kissing me and waited for a response.

  “All the time. Why?”

  “’Cause I find myself thinking about you a lot. Like today, when I was sitting in my office staring at my computer, all I could think about was you, and the graduation. You remember the guy who gave our speech…his name was Leonard something…ahh…”

  “Yeah…the Miami Herald guy.”

  “Yeah. I was really paying attention to what he was saying, but the last thing he said really stayed with me. He said that ‘you’ll have less to regret and more to be grateful for than you can ever imagine if you have chosen your route based on the knowledge of your head and the love of your heart, on wisdom beyond trend or fashion and truths that evergreen’.”