Dying to Love Her Read online

  “A what!” Scott said, shocked.

  “You heard me.”

  “Wait,” Scott said, palms up. “Why do you think you have a son?”

  “In the restaurant, she had a little boy with her, and he looks just like me, Scott.”

  “So what?” Scott stood up. “You’re smarter than that, Dre. You should at least get a paternity test before you go running off thinking you have a son.”

  “I don’t think...I know. He’s my son. The boy looks just like me, Scott, and when I confronted her about it, she didn’t deny it. Even if she would have, it would’ve been a lie. I know he’s mine.” Andre sighed. Perplexed. “I didn’t meet you for drinks because I went to her place last night to see him.”

  “To see him or to see her.”

  “Him,” Andre clarified. He wanted nothing to do with Ava. She instantly went from a woman he used to love to a woman he couldn’t stand to look at. He didn’t even want to be near her.

  “You sure about that? I mean, you had it bad for this mystery chick—”

  “That was two years ago.” Andre interrupted. He walked over to his desk and sat on the edge of it. “I told her I was going to file for full custody.”

  “Whoa...whoa...whoa, Dre. Slow your roll, man. First off, you don’t even know if the kid is yours.”

  A frown grew in Andre’s forehead. “He’s my son, Scott.”

  “Hear me out, ah’ight. Hear me...we are in the middle of the biggest merger in this company’s history...your company. You need to stay focused. You don’t have time to have a child with you full-time.”

  “I’m getting custody of my son and that’s that.” Andre stood up again. “And you’re right...I did have a thing for her, but she never answered my calls, didn’t return any of them and didn’t bother to tell me I had a son. Now, I’m going to make her pay.”

  “So this is about revenge?”

  Andre looked at Scott, turned his back to him again and walked over to the windows. It was about revenge. He knew it. The years he spent bitter and confused would be his motivation to make Ava pay for breaking his heart.

  “Jeez, Andre...I didn’t take you for the vengeful type.”

  “Then you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

  Scott shook his head. This was a lot to take in. “And what does Michelle have to say about all of this?”

  Had he had time to think about what Michelle thought? Did he even care? He knew Michelle didn’t want kids. Yet, he still proposed to her, hoping he’d be able to convince her to have a couple of children after they were married for a year or two. Now he had to tell her he had one already.

  “I haven’t spoken to Michelle about this yet.”

  “Don’t you think you should say something? Like right now?”

  He turned to face Scott once more. “I will when the time is right.”

  Andre walked over to his desk again, sitting in his chair this time. “Forget all this. Let’s get down to business. I have to leave on time today.”

  “I wonder why.” Scott took his seat.

  “I have to see my son. There...now you don’t have to wonder.”

  Andre flipped through some papers.

  Meanwhile, Scott examined him. They’d worked together for years and Scott knew Andre better than anyone else in the company. He could see clearly Andre wasn’t focused on this merger. And it was apparent that his issues with Ava weren’t resolved. Andre was hurt. He could fool everyone else with his expensive suits, plastered smiles and business swag, but he couldn’t fool Scott.

  After minutes of silence, Scott said, “Dre, if you love her—”

  Andre scowled. “Why are you bringing that up again? I said let’s get down to business.”

  “Okay, but you’re just sitting there fumbling through papers. You’re not with this, man. Your mind hasn’t been here since Monday, and instead of trying to ignore the elephant in the room, I think you should address it, or shall I say her.”

  Andre glared at him. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m over it.”

  “No you’re not.”

  “Scott, let’s focus.” He handed Scott a folder. “Okay, so if you look at page...uh...” he stammered, paging through the documents laid out on his desk, not able to find what he was looking for.

  “You’re off your game, man,” Scott commented. “Just—”

  “Get off my back, man! I don’t need this right now!” Andre yelled, pushing papers off his desk in a fit of rage. Why did Scott have to know him so freakin’ well?

  Andre stood up and returned to the windows again, his eyes glossed over.

  “Dre, I’m not trying to be on your back about this. I mean, I’m all about the merger and moving this company to the next phase, but if you need time to regroup, then I think we should talk to Benjamin and push this thing back a few weeks.”

  “We don’t need to push it back.”

  “Come on, man, you just found out you have a son by a woman you were in love with...said she was your dream girl.”

  “Dream girl?”

  “Yeah, dream girl...that’s what you called her when you came back from the Bahamas, and honestly, you were the happiest I’ve ever seen you. Now, you’re miserable.”

  “I’m not miserable.”

  “Okay, well, you’ve allowed this company to suck the life out of you. And I don’t know what you got going on with Michelle but—” Scott paused, not sure if he should be as open and honest with Andre as he wanted to. But if they were truly friends, he had to give it to him straight. “Man, I just don’t think Michelle is right for you. I never see y’all together, you never take any of her calls...you go above and beyond to avoid her and I think it’s because of Ava. Am I right?”

  Silence.

  Andre hadn’t bothered responding to Scott, but Scott was right. It was almost scary how well Scott knew him.

  Finally, Andre looked at him. “Scott, I know you’re just doing your job and you know this company inside and out, but trust me when I say we don’t need to push it back.”

  “We do. I know you better than the inner workings of this company. I know you still love her, Dre. That’s why you’re trying to take the boy away from her. She hurt you and now you want to hurt her, but as your colleague and friend, trust me when I say that’s the wrong move. If you love her, then have a conversation with her. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”

  * * *

  Andre banged on Ava’s door, six o’clock in the evening. He wanted to get there before Drew went to sleep. That would give him plenty of time to see his son face-to-face, eye-to-eye. He wanted to hold him, talk to him and hear his little voice.

  He listened to the doorknob rattle, then watched Ava open the door.

  “Where’s my son?” Andre asked, walking right by her.

  Ava closed the door. “He’s eating.”

  Andre looked over to the kitchen and saw Drew sitting in his high chair. He smiled then joined him, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table, sliding it close to his son.

  He admired him for a moment, noticing Andrew had his hazel eyes. Then, unable to resist any longer, he pulled him out of the high chair and into his arms, hugged him, then gently bounced him up and down in his lap.

  Little Drew looked at his mother and cried out for her. Reaching for her.

  “See…because of you, my own son doesn’t know me,” Andre said with anger. “Did you at least give him my last name?”

  “No. He has my name. Andrew Davenport.”

  “So you are a liar,” he said. “You told me your last name was Flowers.”

  “And you told me you were an accountant. If I’m a liar, what does that make you?”

  Drew began to squirm more.

  Ava walked over to Andre and attempted to take Drew from his arms, but Andre held on to him. “I’m bonding,” he said. “You’ve had your bonding time. It’s my turn now.”

  Drew whimpered, bending his body, reaching for his mother. “Ma, ma,” he cried.<
br />
  “Andre, just give him to me,” Ava finally said.

  Andre looked at Ava with a blaze of anger in his eyes. He didn’t want to do it, but he allowed her to take Drew from his grasp.

  Ava cleaned Drew’s face, then took him to the bedroom, changed his diaper then dressed him for bed.

  Meanwhile, Andre, still heated, remained sitting at the kitchen table. He wanted to leave, but when he thought about what Scott had told him, he knew he couldn’t – not without having a “conversation” with her first.

  Andre’s eyes followed her every move as she quietly came back into the kitchen, running a glass of water and taking a few sips. He looked her up and down. She was wearing a fitted white tank top with pair of neon pink exercise shorts that accentuated her legs. Her hair was short and wavy like she’d just washed it. Her eyes were big and bright.

  “My son doesn’t know me,” he said in a monotone.

  Ava took a sip of water. “I don’t want to argue with you, Andre, so if that’s your intent—”

  “Oh don’t come at me with that.” He stood up and walked in her direction. “You take my son and now—”

  “I didn’t take your son,” Ava yelled, finally tired of his taunts and insults.

  “You did take him!”

  Ava eyes watered. “Can you please leave?”

  “No. I’m not leaving,” he responded firmly, still walking in her direction. “We need to have a conversation about the Bahamas, don’t you think?”

  Ava opened her mouth but couldn’t speak.

  “You knew, once you left, that you would never talk to me again, didn’t you? It was your plan all along, right?”

  “No, it wasn’t.” Tears spilled from her eyes and now she had no more room to back away from him. She’d hit a wall. “I didn’t mean—”

  “Stop lying to me!” He erupted, feeling every muscle in his body harden. His face was a shade darker, but not darker than the intense color of his eyes. Chest-to-chest with her, he’d taken all of her personal space. All of it. He left his hands by his sides, because even though he would never hit a woman, he’d never been in this situation and wasn’t sure what he would do had his hands made contact with her body.

  He watched a steady flow of tears fall from her eyes. “You made me think we were going to have something...that we would be together. If you didn’t want me, why didn’t you just say so upfront? I’m a grown man. I can handle rejection. What I can’t handle is a woman who lies to my face,” he said angrily.

  “I never lied to you, Andre,” she whimpered.

  “Then tell me why you never called me, Ava. There must be some explanation, right? Tell me.”

  Ava frowned, cried more tears. “I can’t.”

  Out of frustration, Andre punched the wall so hard, he made a dent there. “I hate you!” Andre backed away from her, and taking his suit jacket from the living room couch, he headed to the front door and repeated, “I hate you.”

  “I hate you, too!” Ava cried out.

  Andre stopped and turned around when she’d made the statement. Walking back towards her quickly, adrenaline pumping, his mind gone he said, “You hate me, Ava?”

  Her lips trembled more when she realized that she’d only exacerbated the situation.

  “You hate me?” he asked again, frowning. He’d finally snapped and as his body held her captive against the kitchen wall, he realized his pent-up anger was nothing but a mask for the love he felt for her.

  He held her face between his strong hands, forcing her to look at him. “You hate me, Ava?”

  “Yes, I hate you! You’re trying to take my baby away from me,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

  Andre frowned and before she could say a word more he plowed his mouth into hers, kissing her desperately. Needfully. He held her head tight between his large hands, reacquainting himself with her. His hands moved to her waist then crawled up her back. Goodness he missed her. Missed touching her. Missed the sound of her voice. What he didn’t miss was the feeling of being without her. He hated the way she left him. Hated that she ended all communication between them. He couldn’t allow himself to love a woman who didn’t love him.

  When he felt her body tremble, he stopped kissing her abruptly, then quietly walked away, leaving out of the front door.

  Ava

  . ~ .

  “SO THAT’S THE deal,” I tell Clara, my neighbor and friend. She lives a few doors down and keeps Drew while I’m working. She charges me a discounted weekly rate of fifty bucks, but even that’s hard for me to come up with sometimes. Even still, I’m thankful she’s able to watch him and that she understands I’m a single mother.

  Curled up on the couch with a cup of pomegranate tea, I just finished up telling her about Andre’s tirade at my place earlier this evening.

  “I can’t believe you kissed him,” she says.

  “I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me. And I don’t know how it happened…one minute we were arguing and he’s punching the wall, and the next, he’s stealing kisses.”

  “Wow.”

  “The crazy part is, he was so angry, I actually thought he might hit me.”

  “Jeez, girl. If he’s that upset, then maybe you shouldn’t let him come over unless I’m here, or your mother…”

  I shake my head. “I don’t think he would hurt me. He was just upset. He was so mad that, after he kissed me, he left…didn’t say a word to me…just turned around and left.” I see a diamond cuff link on the floor next to one of the coffee table legs. I reach over to pick it up and place it on the end table where I know Drew won’t be able to reach it.

  “So do you think it’s just a threat, or do you think he’s actually going to file for full custody of Andrew?”

  “I don’t know. Last night, he was so angry, and the fact that he walked away from me isn’t a good sign,” I say, my voice trembling.

  “Okay, I think I need to be honest with you, Ava.” Clara repositioned, folding one leg under herself before sitting. “If I would’ve had Wesley’s son and didn’t tell him, girl, he would probably snap. Men love their children. I mean, you have the ones that can’t always provide for them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love them. Surely, Andre can provide for Drew, and you could use the help, right?”

  “I don’t need his help.”

  “I know. I see how hard you work. The point I’m trying to make is, Andre has a right to be upset.”

  “I know.”

  “Have you apologized to him?”

  “No. I know I need to. I’m just scared.” I dab my eyes again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if he takes me to court. I can’t afford representation.”

  “Let’s just hope and pray it doesn’t come to that.”

  “Mom told me to try to move into a two-bedroom apartment out here.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Andre said a social worker would find Drew’s current living arrangements questionable. You know his crib is in my bedroom, and he should have his own room.”

  “That shouldn’t be a big deal.”

  “But what if it is? Then Andre is going to take Drew off to Miami to live in his six bedroom house with his new wife.”

  “Wife? Girl, don’t tell me this man is married?”

  “No. He’s engaged, apparently.”

  “He’s engaged and he kissed you last night?” Clara sighs. “Okay...that ain’t none of my business. All I know is, you cannot live your life based on what-ifs.”

  “Yeah. You’re right.”

  Clara stands up and stretches. “I hate to go, but I have to get the kids ready for bed.” She leans down and gives me a hug. “Stop worrying, okay.”

  “Okay. Thanks for listening to me rant.” I stand and walk with her to the front door.

  “Anytime, girl. I’ll see you later.”

  Andre

  . ~ .

  ANDRE SAT AT his desk this morning, lacking motivation to do anything company-related. Every time he attempted to do wor
k, he thought of Ava. Kissing her last night made him realize how much he still loved her. But what had it meant for her, if anything at all?

  He sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. Frustrated. If he didn’t have a meeting with the lawyers this afternoon, he would dash back over to her place just to be near her and his son. Maybe then, Ava would finally tell him why she stopped talking to him.

  Speaking of lawyers...he had to call his lawyer regarding his marriage in Nassau to Ava. He quickly found Stan’s number in his cell phone and dialed it.

  “Mr. Rockwell...” Stan answered.

  “Stan, how’s it going?”

  “It’s going good. What can I do for you, Sir?”

  “Do you remember a year and a half ago when I came to see you about an annulment?”

  “Yes. I recall that.”

  “Did you file the paperwork?”

  “No.”

  Andre closed his eyes. That meant he was still married to Ava. “Why didn’t you file it?”

  “It didn’t feel right. You came in my office at the lowest of the low...don’t think I’d ever seen you so disappointed, so I told myself I would hold off on it in case you worked out whatever you needed to work out with your marriage. I set the paperwork aside and kept pushing it off...never filed anything.”

  Andre shook his head and blew a breath. Was this a sign?

  “You’re not going to fire me are you?” Stan asked.

  “No…um…” he stammered. He was confused and not sure how to proceed.

  “So do you want me to file it?”

  Do you want me to file it? Andre heard Stan, but since he wasn’t sure what he was feeling at the moment, he couldn’t find the right word to say.

  “Tell you what,” Stan said. “I’ll hold on to it for two more weeks and if I don’t hear from you—”

  “Destroy it,” Andre told him.

  “Okay. Will do. As a matter of fact let me do it right now while you’re on the phone. Give me a sec.”