Can't Just Be His Friend Read online

  Mom greeted me with an overzealous hug. She was leaning all over me like she didn’t care if she messed up my hair or anything.

  “Ma, hurry up and take the pictures. It’s hot out here and I’m ready to go.”

  “Okay, my little business graduate. Let me see you smile, hun. You just graduated college. You should be on top of the world.”

  No Ma, I’ll be on top of the world when the man I love learns to love me back. That’s what I wanted to tell her but I held it all in while Reggie and I posed for photos. Shontay stood off to the side mean-mugging me. She was extremely jealous of my relationship with Reggie. He had his arms around me tight, even kissed me on the cheek a few times. She was angry. I could see it in her face.

  A couple of months ago, I tried to tell Reggie to back off a little and not be so tight with me, especially since he had a girlfriend and was in a committed relationship with Shontay. When I told him he frowned, grabbed me and said, “Girl, we friends for life. Anyone who doesn’t understand that can get to stepping.”

  How was I going to argue with that?

  We’ve been through this same scenario so many times, but yet Reggie was oblivious to it all. He would deny this, but most of the women in his life came and went because of his relationship with me. When I tried to take a step back so his relationships could survive, he would get angry at me and accuse me of being disloyal to our friendship. I didn’t know what to do about it at the time and I still don’t. I mean, just seeing the disappointment on Shontay’s face as her man groped me and kissed me was making me sick.

  “Smile, Tiffany!” Mom shouted. Georgia Water sure loved taking pictures. Unfortunately for her, I wasn’t in the mood for smiling. It was way too hot out there and I finally snatched the cap off of my head.

  “Tiffany, put your cap back on, honey.”

  “Ma, you got enough pictures already. It’s hot out here. I’m ready to go.”

  “Okay…just let me get a few more. Reggie, step off to the side and let me get Tiffany by herself.”

  Reggie walked over near Shontay while Mom continued taking solo pictures of me. I saw the camera flash a few times.

  “Let’s see that beautiful smile,” Reggie shouted from the sidelines like a coach, to which Shontay gave him a look of disgust. I smiled at him just to anger her. Then after seeing the camera flash a few more times, I called it quits.

  “Okay, Ma. That’s enough.”

  “Let me get a few more, Tiffany.”

  That’s when I lost it. My Mother had at least thirty photo albums of me since birth – no exaggeration. She took way too many pictures and I refused to take more photos like I was an ‘A’ list celebrity.

  “Ma, it’s hot out here! Can we just go?” My irritation was obvious. Graduating from college should’ve been one of the happiest times of my adult life but there I was heated – physically and mentally. Mom ignored my request and kept on snapping shots of me like she was the paparazzi, and not just any paparazzi. I’m talking about those sharks who chase Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan.

  “I’m not taking any more pictures,” I told her as I snatched the cap off of my head for the second time. Though the temperature was in the mid-nineties, the heat index was over a hundred. The air was so thick, I didn’t want to inhale.

  “Tiffany Paradise Water, what on earth is wrong with you?”

  Mom had a habit of calling me by my government whenever I made her mad. And yes, that is my real name by the way. When I heard her call me, I stayed the course to my car. I needed to get in there and crank up the air conditioning.

  “I don’t know what has gotten into her,” I heard my Mom say as I marched on, uninterrupted.

  “Me either,” Reggie said. “Let me go and talk to her.” Reggie picked up pace to catch up to me. By the time he did I managed to slip into my car, windows up, AC cranked to the max. It was so refreshing to sit there and cool off for a minute. I needed a break from everything.

  “Tiff!” Reggie called me from the outside of my car door, his knuckles creating tune on the window as he tapped the glass for my attention.

  “What?”

  “What are you doing?”

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving.” I slipped the car in reverse. I needed to leave. I was near tears and I very well couldn’t tell Reggie why. How do you just come out and tell your best friend you’re in love with him? Eight years is a long time to be in love with somebody and they not know it. And to add to the frustration, we just graduated from college, something me and Reggie talked about incessantly since we started the four-year journey. Now I was thinking about that in a whole new light. College felt like the finale to a long life we had together. To me, it was the beginning of the end – the end of Reggie and I. That alone was enough to make me miserable.

  “Can you just let me talk to you?” Reggie looked concerned but angry at the same time. “Please?” he said with raised brows.

  Talk about being weak in the knees. I felt like SWV when he looked at me with those adorable eyes of his. I put the car back in park, shut off the engine, then got out and stood right there in front of him with my arms crossed. I had tears in my eyes. Reggie cupped my head in his hands and forced me to look at him.

  “What’s wrong? Why you actin’ like this, Tiff? We’re supposed to be happy right now.”

  I sniffled a little while Reggie wiped the tears from my face. “Don’t you see, Reggie? This is it. We’re done with college. Now we have to go our separate ways and I’m gonna miss you.”

  Frowning, Reggie said, “We ain’t going nowhere. We both have jobs here in Virginia and you live right down the street from me.” Reggie wiped the tears from my eyes again. “You ain’t got nothing to worry about. Big Daddy ain’t going nowhere, baby.”

  I laughed at him, referring to his skinny behind as ‘Big Daddy’. He warmly kissed me on my forehead and just like that, I felt better. Cooler.

  “Where is Shontay?” I asked him.

  Reggie looked around for her for a few seconds and she was nowhere in sight. “She must have left,” he said like he didn’t even care. He always put my feelings before hers. I could see why Shontay didn’t like me or want me hanging around her man. But Reggie and I, we had a history together. We went to summer camps together, took school trips back in the day and shared college courses. For the first three years of college, we shared an off-campus apartment. We loved each other very much but we were never in a physical relationship. We never crossed that invisible line – never even talked about hooking up, though I knew it crossed his mind the same way it crosses mine constantly.

  I wouldn’t call Reggie a player or anything, but he was definitely a ladies man. Me on the other hand, I’ve never been in a relationship. I never even kissed a boy. Well, I take that back. Reggie kissed me when he took me to our senior prom.

  That reminds me.

  When I told him I wasn’t going to the prom because I didn’t have a date, he ditched his girlfriend and told her he was taking me to the prom. I was flattered, but I didn’t feel right going with him. He was so gorgeous and I was so…so…well, I had a great personality.

  When I got older those puny looks of mine faded and the beauty gradually came out. I got some meat on my bones, got a lil’ bit of junk in the trunk, but not too much junk. I developed some curves and grew some breasts. My jet black hair grew a lot too. It fell just below my shoulders. I was about five-feet-eight inches tall, one hundred forty pounds. My complexion was a medium brown color. Eyes – pecan brown.

  You’ve probably figured this out already, but just for the record, I don’t have a man. I convinced myself I didn’t need one. Besides, there is a shortage of men who knows what it means to be in a committed relationship and take care of a family. And I don’t take too kindly to getting attention from a man who’s only interested in me because I have a nice body. I mean, give me a break. Anyway, I had my eyes on one man and one man only.

  Actually, I had Reggie wrapped around my fi
nger. He would do anything I asked of him. If I called him at two in the morning to come and be with me because I had a bad dream, he would be right there. If I wanted him to spend the night with me because I was afraid of being alone, he would, with no questions asked. That’s how much he cared about me.

  “Ay, you know we’re supposed to be going out to eat, right?” Reggie asked me but I was in a daze, looking into his eyes like he was performing some hypnotherapy on me. Reggie was looking good tonight. He had just gotten his hair cut and I always loved his height and those muscles…

  “Tiff. Helloooo.”

  “Oh, right. Yeah, we are going out to eat but I don’t know where.”

  “Me either. I couldn’t get anything out of my Mom and your Mom wasn’t dropping any hints.”

  “Well I guess we’ll find out.”

  I peeled myself out of the gown right there in the parking lot. Reggie took his off, too. Then I slipped my feet out of those awful, toe-hatin’ heels. Reggie drove my car as we followed our parents to whatever surprise restaurant they were taking us to for dinner.

  I always felt chemistry with Reggie and I don’t know why. You would think the force between us would’ve subsided over the years. But sitting here in the car with him again made me feel jittery and anxious, like one of those first date moments when you realize the guy you’re with might be the one.

  “So how you feel right now? You good?” Reggie asked me.

  I beamed at him as he drove, looking at how fine he was.

  “Tiff, you okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “You sure, ‘cause you been spacing out on a brother lately. What you daydreaming about, girl?” Reggie asked as he palmed my thigh like a basketball, squeezed firmly as if he was testing the ripeness of a melon and glanced at me for a hot second to see my reaction before I answered his question.

  “I was just thinking about us and how far we’ve come. Oh, and how come you didn’t do the Soulja Boy on stage like you said? You know you owe me a C-note, right?”

  He laughed. “I was going to do it, but I didn’t want to embarrass my Mom. And I’ll get you your money.”

  “That’s all right. I’m not going to take your money.” I stared out the window, as if focusing my attention on businesses and houses could distract my attention from Reggie. Visions of the dream I had about us last night kept flashing in my head – his strong arms holding me on the beach while we confessed our love for each other.

  “So are you feeling good about this?”

  I heard Reggie, but I was too busy concentrating on the sound of his voice to answer him – that sexy voice that chased blood through my veins, destined for my heart. The voice that said I want it too, in my dream last night.

  “Tiffany?”

  “Yeah?”

  He grinned. “What’s up with you?”

  “What you mean?”

  “Every time I ask you a question, it’s like you don’t even hear me. What’s wrong? You still thinking about what we talked about at school…about us drifting apart because we’ve graduated?”

  “Well—”

  “I’m always going to be there for you,” Reggie interrupted. “You have to trust me on that, Tiffany.”

  “I do trust you.”

  “Then why do you look so scared right now, like this is the last time we’ll ever see each other? I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I know…I’m just into my feelings. It’s a woman thing.”

  He took my left hand into his right.

  My hand trembled when he touched me and I know he felt it. I watched him smile while staring down the street. It was almost like he knew he was making me nervous and enjoying it.

  Our surprise dinner ended up being at Catch 31, a restaurant in the Hilton Virginia Beach Oceanfront Hotel. It was an upscale seafood joint – a local favorite. I’ve heard their steaks were out of this world.

  I fainted into the ambience as we stepped in. The high ceilings and blue décor made the place appealing. The ocean view added tranquility and calmness. We took a seat beside out mothers. Reggie was sitting directly across from me.

  Patricia looked at me and asked, “So Tiffany, how does it feel to be a college graduate?”

  “It feels nice. I’m just so happy I made my Mom proud.” I had to fan my face to keep from crying when I said that. Mom leaned over all casual-like and threw her arms around my neck, nearly decapitating me. I couldn’t fault her excitement. It hasn’t always been easy for us. Both my Mom and Reggie’s Mom had to struggle to support us kids and thankfully we both were able to land scholarships. Otherwise, we would not have been able to afford college.

  “I’m so proud of you both,” my Mom said, teary-eyed. I rubbed some life back into my neck, then threw my arm around her.

  During all this, Reggie sat quiet, staring at me. Then he placed a small, black gift box on the table in front of me.

  “Reggie, I thought we weren’t going to exchange gifts.”

  “Open it,” he urged me.

  I opened the box and there was a key attached to a pink ribbon. Son of a gun. I recognized the key immediately. That key went to a time capsule Reggie and I packed when we were in middle school. It was our way of burying our elementary lives and starting over in our new high school adventure, our parent’s idea. We put all kinds of stuff in the box and buried it inside a bigger trunk so the smaller one didn’t get dirty, safely underground in Patricia’s backyard. We promised not to open it until we finished college.

  “I thought it would be a good idea if we opened it up tonight in our hotel room.”

  For the past three years for summer break, Reggie and I rented a room at a different hotel on Virginia Beach to spend time together, just for a weekend. It was our way of reconnecting, of keeping our friendship alive. It was as if we were on vacation in our own backyard.

  “Reggie, I had completely forgotten about that box. What made you remember?”

  “The graduation.”

  I took the key and looked at it, trying to recall some of the things I had put in the box. “You’ve already dug it up?”

  “Yep. Did it last night.”

  I smiled at him and he sent a curious smile my way, trying to read me.

  “I didn’t know y’all were doing the hotel thing this year since it’s technically not a summer break,” Mom said. “What hotel are y’all staying at?”

  Reggie answered her. “We’re staying at the Holiday Inn SunSpree Resort. We’re going straight there when we leave here. Tiff, you brought your clothes, right?”

  I was staring hard at Reggie, fantasizing about him. In my vision, I could see him sitting on the couch in my apartment with his shirt off, while I sat on his lap and grinded him slowly, listening to any song by Pretty Ricky.

  “Tiff? Did you hear me?”

  “Um…oh, yeah. I have my clothes in the back seat.”

  “Oh and before I forget, I have one more thing for you.”

  Reggie handed me a wrapped gift with a bow on the top of it.

  I ripped it open. “You got it!” Reggie had purchased Lil Wayne’s latest album for me, The Carter III. Wayne has been my favorite rapper since The Block is Hot. I made it a point to purchase every album that featured Lil’ Wayne, needless to say my collection was taking over my apartment.

  “Thank you, Reggie. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “What’s that, Tiffany?” Mom asked me.

  “It’s Lil’ Wayne’s latest album,” Reggie told her. “Tiffany has a thing for Lil’ Wayne.”

  “Girl, I don’t know why you like all that rap stuff,” Mom grunted, showing her age.

  “You wouldn’t understand, Ma. And I don’t have a thing for Lil’ Wayne…just think he has skills. I do, however, have a crush on Trey Songz. I love me some Trey.”

  “Ok…calm down,” Reggie told me. “Let’s not get carried away.”

  “Whatever, Reggie,” I said as I slid the album in my purse. “And the only reason I
like Trey Songz so much is because he reminds me of you,” I said candidly.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I confirm as we stared at each other for a moment.

  Then out of nowhere, Patricia reaches for my purse, trying to take my CD, saying, “Let me see what kind of songs are on this…”

  I blocked her reach. “No, no, no Pat. You gotta tell Reggie to buy one for you. This is not leaving my purse.”

  Laughing, Reggie said, “Dang, Tiff. You all right? Should I take it back?” he said referring to the album.

  “If you want this back, you’re gonna have to fight me for it.”

  Smiling, Reggie replied, “I wouldn’t mind wrestling with you.” He winked at me, showing all thirty-two.

  I wouldn’t mind wrestling with you either, I thought to myself. I wouldn’t mind doing a lot of things to him. I would—

  “Hey Tiffany, what was wrong with you earlier?” Mom asked, disrupting my thoughts.

  “What are you talking about, Ma?”

  “Earlier when we were taking pictures…you just kinda lost it.”

  “She was just a little irritated and it was hot out there,” Reggie said in my defense. He always felt the need to protect me.

  “Yeah. I was hot and my feet were killing me in those shoes.”

  “See, I told you to wear those flats,” Mom said.

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. I should’ve listened to you. My bad for trying to look all cute.”

  “Who were you trying to look cute for?” Patricia quipped.

  “Nobody,” I replied, smiling. “Just wanted to look good in front of all those people. And I’m sorry for spazzing out, Ma.”

  “It’s okay hun, just so long as everything is fine.”

  “Everything is fine,” Reggie and I both said simultaneously, our voices fusing into a harmonious agreement. We smiled at each other confirming we were on the same wavelength. That’s how it had always been with us.

  Chapter 2

  We left Catch 31 about two hours later. Now, I had Reggie all to myself. We didn’t get to the hotel until about ten that night. He booked us an ocean view room about six months ago, which landed us on the fourth floor with a king-size bed, couch, and a two-chair dinette. When we walked into our room, I was instantly drawn to the sliding glass door. While Reggie set our suitcases next to the bed, I stepped out onto the balcony, staring into the peaceful ocean. It was dark and I could hear the waves crashing together. The fresh air was enough to wake all of my senses.