Can't Just Be His Friend Page 11

  “Reggie…,” I said his name softly. “Can you tell me what the problem is? Be real with me.”

  I traced the grooves of his hand with my index finger as I waited for him to respond to me. Reggie’s hands were strong, yet there was a softness to them that made me want to know what other parts of his body felt like.

  “It’s just that I don’t like him.”

  “What else?”

  “And I don’t want him stealing you away from me.”

  “You really think he’s gonna take me away from you?”

  “Looks like he’s doing a good job of it right now.”

  “What? I’m the one who invited you to dinner with us. He was looking forward to kickin’ it with you.”

  “Well I wasn’t looking forward to kickin’ with him. I just wanted to be with you. When was the last time we’ve done something together…just me and you? I miss that, Tiffany. I need that. We need that. I want to be close to you and I don’t want anyone to come between us.”

  “Me either, Reggie, but at the same time, you need to realize that I’m in a relationship now. I know you’re used to me being single, but I’m not single anymore.”

  “I know that. But just because you have a dude in your life doesn’t mean I’m out of the picture.”

  “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I tell you what – can you stay tonight? It’s already late anyway and—”

  “Of course I will,” he quickly answered.

  “Okay. Well, I’ma go change out of these clothes,” I told him. “Be right back.”

  “Okay,” Reggie told me as he took off his shirt and made his way to the kitchen.

  I stood there in my bedroom and changed my clothes. I didn’t even bother closing the door. I was so comfortable around Reggie and I knew he had no sexual interest in me whatsoever. I put on a baby pink boyshort pajama set and joined Reggie in the kitchen. When I walked in, he stared at me, making me uncomfortable for a moment. It didn’t feel normal for him to ogle me like that.

  Reggie has never looked at me with desire. Now, he stands in my kitchen, looking me up and down while rocking a milkstache and holding my half-gallon jug of milk in his hand with his jeans sagging, showing the upper part of his gray Sean John boxers.

  Wow, I said to myself. He looked amazing. I stood there fantasizing for a moment that we were married and he was about to pick me up, take me to our bedroom and make love to me passionately and slowly. When I snapped back to reality, I watched him wipe the milk away from his top lip with the back of his hand and walk towards me, his arms open wide.

  “You normally wear stuff like this to bed?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

  “Yeah I wear this to bed, and what did I tell you about drinking from my containers.”

  “You ain’t tell me nothing,” Reggie said, then walked towards the living room, but doubled back and asked, “Where am I sleeping tonight?”

  “On the couch.”

  “The couch. I ain’t sleeping on the couch. I’m sleeping in the bed with you.”

  “No you’re not. I have a man. That wouldn’t be fair to him.”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to make love to you. I just want to hold you. Talk. What’s the harm in that? We always do that. Why we gotta change now that you got a man? Hunh?”

  “Ah’ight Reggie.” I know I should’ve said no, but Reggie was already claiming our friendship was slowly disintegrating because of my relationship with Derrick. So in order to keep peace, I agreed.

  “This feels so good,” Reggie said after he took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

  “What does?”

  “Being here with you. I missed this. I missed you. And I’m gonna be around no matter what, so you can tell Derrick to move outta my way.”

  “Reggie, stop it.”

  “I’m serious,” he said, staring me in the eyes.

  “Tiff.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Me and Shontay broke up.”

  “What? When did this happen?”

  “About a week ago.”

  “What happened?”

  “I didn’t love her and she knew it.”

  “What? Wait a minute…Shontay is crazy about you. You mean to tell me you broke it off, just like that?”

  “Nah. She broke up with me and I’m cool with it. I mean, what’s the use in pretending to love someone? What’s the point? I mean, with you I feel like everything is natural.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, everything feels good, feels like…” Reggie smirked then said, “I can’t even describe it.”

  I froze while staring in his eyes, not knowing where he was taking this conversation.

  “I just feel really, really good when I’m with you, and I wonder if you feel the same way about me?”

  I smiled.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” Reggie said, smiling wider, more radiant than I was. “On second thought, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he told me as he got up.

  “You don’t have to sleep on the couch. You could stay here.”

  “No. I need to sleep on the couch,” he grinned. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He walked out of my room.

  I hated that. I didn’t want Reggie to go anywhere. I wanted him right there with me. I was in love with Reggie and if I didn’t have a boyfriend things would’ve been different between us. Tonight could’ve officially been the night we declared our love for each other and started our relationship. But I had someone other than myself to think about. I had to see where my relationship with Derrick would go. I mean, what if Derrick was the one.

  Only time would tell.

  Chapter 10

  Reggie got up early in the morning and cooked eggs, bacon and biscuits for breakfast. When I got up, he was sitting at the kitchen table.

  “G’morning Reggie.”

  “Good morning,” he told me as I walked over to pour myself some coffee. Then I fixed myself a plate with eggs, one biscuit and a few strips of bacon and sat down across from him.

  “So what you have on tap for today?”

  “Nothing, actually.”

  “Can we do something?”

  “Like what?”

  “Just something simple like going to have lunch. I wanna kick it with you today.”

  “My goodness, Reggie. You cooked breakfast for me. Now you’re taking me to lunch?”

  “Yep.”

  “I feel special.”

  “You should.”

  “Why is that?”

  “You should feel special to have a man love you this much.”

  “I do.”

  My cell phone rang in the middle of our conversation. I saw Derrick’s name on the display and answered right away.

  “Hey, Derrick.”

  “Hey, gorgeous.”

  I blushed as I dabbed my fork around in the scrambled eggs on my plate. When I looked up, Reggie was staring at me as if he wanted to know what Derrick said to me to make me smile like that.

  “You want to do lunch today?”

  “Oh no, I can’t. I’m having lunch with Reggie today.”

  “Oh…okay.”

  “And she ain’t canceling either,” Reggie blurted out.

  My only hope was that Derrick didn’t hear him.

  “Wait a minute…was that Reggie?”

  So much for hoping.

  “Yeah. Reggie’s here.”

  “Why is he there so early in the morning? Did he spend the night with you?” By Derrick’s tone, I could tell he was irritated.

  “Yeah. He did.”

  Derrick went silent. Then he asked me, “Why does he stay at your place? Why can’t he stay at his own place?”

  That’s when I grew heated. I got up from the table and walked in the living room so Reggie wouldn’t hear what I was about to tell him.

  I said, “Derrick, Reggie is my best friend. You know that.”

  “And who am I, Tiffany? Am I your man?”

  “Yeah.”

&nb
sp; “Then you have to respect that, Tiffany, the same way I respect you.”

  “I do respect that.”

  “Then why is this man spending the night with you?”

  “Why are you calling him this man? He’s not some random guy I met on the street, Derrick.”

  “I know that. You’ve made it very clear to me who Reggie is to you. Okay? I get it. I just want to know why he’s at my baby’s house first thing in the morning.”

  He calmed me down a little with that. Then I lowered my tone.

  “He stayed with me because I wanted him to. We do this all the time. I’m not gonna change now.” I took a deep breath to relax myself a little more. Don’t get me wrong. I liked Derrick a lot. He’s fly, classy and good-looking but he could never be what Reggie is to me, even if our relationship worked out.

  “Derrick I like you, okay. But you have to understand that Reggie is my best friend and I love him as such. Now you know as well as I do that he doesn’t like you. And I guess you don’t like him either but you are in a relationship with me, not him.”

  “I don’t want to feel like I’m competing for your love. I just want to know that this beautiful, talented woman I’m falling in love with has the same feelings for me. I’m not in this to get hurt. I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to go down that road again. You feel me?”

  “Yeah. I got it and for the record, I’m not in this to hurt you.”

  “Then have lunch with me today, baby. Be with me. Spend time with me. I need that from you.”

  Derrick had me backed into a corner. Now I didn’t know what to do. If I told him no, he would take that to mean I was choosing Reggie over him. If I told Reggie I couldn’t go with him, he would fly off the handle, thinking that Derrick was more important to me than he was. I had to let somebody down. I couldn’t take them both to lunch with me and have a repeat of The Olive Garden drama.

  “Okay, Derrick. We can do that.”

  “I’ll pick you up at about noon. Is that good?”

  “Yeah. That’s fine.”

  “Okay. See you in a lil’ while.”

  “Okay.”

  Now I was really screwed. What would I tell Reggie? My heart was racing as I headed towards the kitchen. And Reggie was looking at me all weird like he already knew what I had done.

  “Um…Reggie, we can’t do lunch today.”

  He frowned. “You’re kidding me, right? Tell me you’re joking, Tiffany.” He was getting louder with me.

  “Reggie chill, okay. We can always do something later.”

  “You chose him over me,” Reggie yelled.

  I looked away from him. He was furious.

  “You chose him over me, Tiffany?”

  “Reggie, don’t be like this.” I couldn’t stand to even look at Reggie when he was this angry. He looked so upset like he could just snap and do anything without regard for the law. Then he walked out of the kitchen into the living room. I followed him and watched him put on his shirt.

  “Reggie, wait. Don’t leave.”

  “Don’t touch me, Tiffany!”

  I touched him anyway, until I got my arms around him. “Reggie, please don’t go.”

  “Take your hands off of me.”

  “Reggie…please just listen to me. Please.”

  “Get off of me, Tiffany,” he yelled loudly, making a beeline for the door.

  “Okay, okay,” I said, quickly running around him, barricading the front door.

  “Move,” Reggie demanded, but I was defiant and stood there and reached for his hand. He deflected my reach and I cringed…thought for sure he was going to hit me.

  After that, I let him go. Sometimes I wish Reggie wasn’t so hot headed. If he would have seen the whole thing from my perspective, he would’ve known why I did what I did. But he couldn’t see it. He didn’t want to share me with anyone.

  Chapter 11

  Lunch with Derrick was going okay but in all honesty, I would rather have been with Reggie. Derrick was busy boring me with stories about his company and his quarterly earnings. I didn’t give two cents about how much money he made. I wasn’t one of those women who chased men with a lot of dough. So sitting here with him was completely boring. All I was thinking about was how I was going to get back on Reggie’s good side.

  As soon as Derrick dropped me off, I called Reggie. I knew he wouldn’t answer the phone so I went ahead and left a message. I said, “Reggie, I’m so sorry. Can you please call me back?”

  There was no need for me to go into a lot of detail over the phone so I left it at that. Then I called my Mother to see what she was up to.

  “Hey Mom.”

  “Hey, Tiffany. What’s up, honey?”

  “Nothing much…went to lunch with Derrick today.”

  “Oh yeah? How was it?”

  “It was okay. He took me to Bangkok Garden.”

  “How was the food? You know I’ve never been there?”

  “The food was off the hook. I wish I could say the same for the date.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  I plopped down on my couch and threw one leg over the arm rest. “I just wasn’t feelin’ it. He was going on and on about his business and stuff. I wasn’t in the mood.”

  “Well, sometimes you run into dry spells in relationships.”

  “Yeah, not to mention me and Reggie got into it again.”

  “What else is new? You and Reggie have been gettin’ into it since y’all were three years old fighting over cheese crackers.”

  I chuckled at her recollection of us. “Yeah, but now I feel like he’s jealous of my relationship with Derrick. He got mad at me because I went to lunch with Derrick instead of with him.”

  “I knew this was going to happen. I knew he wouldn’t want you seeing anyone. Reggie loves you and you love him and I don’t know why y’all playing around with each other when the both of you know y’all belong together.”

  “I know, Ma, but—”

  “No buts. If you love him, why don’t you tell him?”

  “I’m seeing Derrick now.”

  “Okay…and?”

  “What you mean by that?”

  “Let me tell you something, honey. I know I set you up with Derrick but if it ain’t meant to be then guess what? It ain’t meant to be. It’s as simple as that.”

  “But Derrick loves me.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Ah…maybe. I don’t know. My thinking is cloudy right now. I mean I can’t really focus on Derrick because of Reggie.”

  “Let me ask you a question. Do you love Reggie?”

  Her question brought a smile to my face. “I love Reggie with every fiber of my being.” Saying that out loud gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

  “So you’re going to let Shondray, or whatever her name is, push up on him?”

  My Mom had me trippin’ with her comment and the way she used terminology like push up. She was too hip for her age.

  “Her name is Shontay and they broke up.”

  “So now is your perfect opportunity.”

  “If you say so, Ma. Anyway, I’m cooking dinner tonight so get ya girl and come on through.”

  “Okay, I’ll call Patricia. We’ll be there. I assume Reggie is coming as well?”

  “Yeah, if he ain’t still mad at me. We’ll see.”

  I called Reggie again and left a voicemail, asking him to come over to my apartment for dinner. Can’t say I didn’t try.

  I EXPECTED MY Mom and Patricia at about six o’clock. That’s why when I heard my doorbell ring earlier than that, I knew it had to be Reggie. I was in the middle of battering some chicken wings.

  I went to the door with flour on my hands and looked through the peephole. It was Reggie. I opened the door quickly.

  “Hey, Reggie.”

  “Hey,” he said with a solemn look, unlike his normal, upbeat demeanor.

  “I didn’t think you were gonna come.”

  “Me either, but I’m here.”

 
Reggie followed me into the kitchen. I had a big pot on the stove half filled with canola oil. When it was hot enough, I was going to put in the chicken. In the meantime I splashed more flour on the seasoned pieces.

  “Reggie, I’m sorry about today.”

  “Me too.”

  “You are?” I asked, surprised.

  “Yeah. I was wrong. You’re in a relationship now and I guess he would be your priority instead of me, so I can’t be mad at you for that.”

  I put the first batch of chicken wings in the pot. Flour dusted my hands as I dropped them in.

  Reggie continued, “But something has been bothering me all day.”

  I talked a little louder over the sizzle. “What’s that?”

  Reggie walked over to me and said, “This morning when I got upset with you, you flinched. Why did you do that?”

  “Ah, you were angry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry.”

  “So you thought I was gonna hit you?” he asked, frowning, clearly disturbed by having to even ask a question like that.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Reggie frowned at my response. “You thought I was gonna hit you?” he asked again.

  “Reggie, forget about this morning. Let’s put that behind us and have a good time tonight.” I went to the sink and washed my hands. As I was washing them, Reggie came up behind me, turned off the faucet and tugged at my arm so I would turn around.

  “You thought I was gonna hit you?”

  The expression on my face gave him his answer. The truth was, I didn’t know what Reggie was going to do. If a person gets angry enough, they’ll do anything (or maybe it’s just that I’ve seen one too many episodes of Snapped on Oxygen).

  Reggie put both of his hands on my face to force my attention. He said, “Tiffany, I will never hit you.”

  “I know,” I said with fleeting eye contact while fanning his hand away from me.

  “No, I don’t think you do. Look at me Tiffany,” he said with raised eyebrows. “I’m serious.”

  I shifted my focus on him again, staring at his chiseled lips. “I know you’re serious.”

  “Okay, so listen to what I’m telling you. I will never hit you. How could you even think that? How could you think I would hurt you?”

  “You were so angry at the time…”